One more suspect arrested in Settler homicide, alleged murderer had fled to Mexico

3 thoughts on “One more suspect arrested in Settler homicide, alleged murderer had fled to Mexico

  1. Arraigned this morning in Department H under the auspices of visiting judge The Honorable Eric Labovitz, of our beloved hometown, Boonville, it was short (if not particularly sweet ceremony). The dreadheaded dick was seated nest to another cold-blooded murderer, Steve Patrick Ryan, and his lawyer, Ethan Balough, Esq., was focused on his cellphone, as President Trump was just then, at the top of the hour, being sworn in to office.

    Mr. Kane was looking directly at me. He was staring at what jailhouse lawyers already alerted him to: old Nick, the red devil.

    The report says he was tired of running.

    Could be.

    More likely, the pot he stole is gone, and it’s time to come down.

    The other skunk (pardon my prejudices against killers) Steve Ryan was a wasted trip. Sure, his prelim was on the docket, but his attorney, Carly Dolan had gone in for emergency surgery: It seems she couldn’t defend this trigger-happy redneck for shooting down a dumpster-diving black boy without having her conscience surgically removed and preserved in a specimen bottle of gin.

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